Top 50 Tweets of 2014

Do Tide pens work on a life stained with disappointment

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) March 3, 2014

how can anyone be mad about graffiti when we let people get away with something called "latte art"

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) September 27, 2014

what do you do if you're sad but not funny

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) June 17, 2014

out of nowhere I texted my ex "I'm very happy" does that seem normal and chill

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) November 7, 2014

Everyone at laundromats folds their underwear in public as if that's not something that should be punishable by death

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) March 14, 2014

I'm sorry if I've ever misgendered your pet

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) November 11, 2014

Has everyone already realized that naps are "turn it off then turn it back on" for people

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) May 7, 2014

of course I don't hate men I have one men friend

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) December 11, 2014

Does Obama worry about being basic

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) October 29, 2014

I wish I was famous so people would get just how fascinating I am

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) January 9, 2014

Sucks that my whole life has to be about me

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) May 13, 2014

At what age do you stop turning down the volume on sex scenes

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) November 14, 2014

Walked by a softball field, show them their future.

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) March 8, 2014

Is it racist to hate myself

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) January 7, 2014

how does anyone have the emotional strength to make dinner

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) September 11, 2014

Just daydreamed about crying.

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) March 26, 2014

Isn't being single just the most open relationship?

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) November 14, 2014

if my parents consider me to be a disappointment and want to blame it on being gay they'd have to overlook several other glaring reasons

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) November 29, 2014

does the five second rule apply to tampons

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) December 7, 2014

I wish facebook recorded who friended who so you always know who has the upper hand in the relationship

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) April 10, 2014

Journals were invented so you can hate past you and current you at the same time.

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) June 23, 2014

If pregnant women walk without a hand on their stomach, will the baby fall out

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) November 23, 2014

I wish I could report someone's entire life as spam

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) November 15, 2014

aren't diaries just the saddest zines

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) December 7, 2014

All reported ghosts have been by people that don't understand cross breezes

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) March 30, 2014

can you dye your hair flannel

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) October 24, 2014

The thing about people that think gays recruit is that they're saying the only thing keeping them from being gay is a strong sales pitch

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) September 2, 2014

Have you ever been so sad that wishful thinking is your wishful thinking

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) June 2, 2014

Happiness is like an orgasm in that you'll know it when you feel it and I've experienced neither

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) April 25, 2014

Is it rude to be happy in a Starbucks?

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) February 10, 2014

most Kickstarters I'm like I'll pay you not to make that

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) August 29, 2014

Is it fair to be mad that your ex stole your friends if you barely liked your friends to begin with

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) April 20, 2014

Sucks that no matter what your ringtone is, it's embarrassing

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) July 25, 2014

I wish commercials said true things like, "changing your tampon makes you feel like you have a new 2-3 hour lease on life."

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) May 19, 2014

having a job is expensive because you have to spend all your money to justify doing something you hate

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) April 24, 2014

All clothes are pajamas if you don't leave your apartment

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) April 24, 2014

Accidentally thought someone treated me as an equal

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) March 31, 2014

Every night I queue a tweet that says IN HEAVEN LOL and delete it when I wake so if I die in my sleep everyone will be freaked the fuck out

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) April 23, 2014

Doesn't seem fair that to be as happy as possible you need drugs but to be as sad as possible all you have to do is reach your 20s

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) March 28, 2014

The confidence with which Planned Parenthood volunteers approach me is borderline offensive

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) May 5, 2014

If nothing else, we should be impressed that all presidents reached the age of 35 and still had dreams and goals

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) February 26, 2014

Wish I was famous so I had a reason to be nice to people

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) April 22, 2014

"More like RikiLeaks!" - a fun joke for friends of Ricki Lake when she's on her period

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) April 22, 2014

I wish I cared about the stories I relay to my friends as much as I expect them to care while I'm telling them

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) June 24, 2014

Is there a way to delete other people's tweets

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) April 20, 2014

I bet you if Kim Possible knew how much data plans are now, she wouldn't be quite as down with her theme song

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) March 21, 2014

How old is too young to give up

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) February 7, 2014

It's free museum day in LA but I don't have anyone I'm trying to impress by pretending that I care so thank God for that

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) January 26, 2014

Do you think I could commit suicide in my "voice"

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) October 25, 2014

If Twitter has taught me anything it's that there is a line between sad funny and sad sad and I don't know where it is

— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) January 8, 2014